Unexpectedly Typical.

I must be the only person in the world to be depressed about slowly turning into a popsicle stick. Usually people who get 30-40 hour workweeks at a place where you just sit around and do stuff sitting down get flubby.

Honestly, I was expecting that.

But now what the crap is this?! 

I’ve lost like 10 pounds since summer started. And why, you may ask? 

My muscles are disappearing! 

I am turning into a limp noodle!

This is disastrous!

How am I supposed to start martial arts next semester if I am a limp noodle?!

I will have to start working out! Yes! 

I will pump iron! I will run laps! I will do painful things like situps and pushups and other -ups!

I will become the She-Hulk! People will marvel at my toned body! 

…

But I’m so tired from all that driving…I think I’ll start tomorrow.

:(

For all my efforts in keeping my complexion smooth and collected, none of them can stand against 100 degree weather in a car with barely functioning air conditioning for long. At least I wasn’t wearing foundation—the melting makeup would be wreaking havoc in minutes! But for everything else, there’s facial tissues.

At least before this, I had been noticing some great improvements! Shrinking of pores, clearing of skin, glowiness of the face, &etc. Who knew I could look so mature? One more small step towards my new year’s goal!

Way back in January, I made a resolution to become more feminine. 

Now, when I first came up with this idea, I thought of those women who made glowing skin, excellent taste, and feminine mannerisms look effortless. I know that somewhere within me, too, lies such a woman. And this year I’m going to try to bring her out a little bit more.

I have a number of phases that I have planned to complete this “mission”, if you will. It’s taken me six months to finally implement them.

Phase One: Extra Effort in Front of the Mirror

This is an easy one. How often have you heard “feminine hygiene”? It’s everywhere! It’s also one of the most difficult things for me to keep up with. I’m a tomboy-nerd by nature. I paint my nails maybe five times a year and never use tanning lotion.

However, I have started to style my hair every morning (and by style I mean put product in it after showering and blow dry), and today I did my first ever facial! It was a clay mask I found at Target, and it felt great. My next steps will probably be keeping my legs silky smooth every day, and paying special attention to my facial complexion. I already monitor breakouts, but now I’m actually investing in daily cleanser instead of just plain soap and water. 

Phase Two: Putting Good Food in for a Healthy Glow 

How is eating healthy feminine? It’s kind of a long shot, but I think that having good taste includes eating the good food that happens to be good for you. Now, I’ve seen some pretty drastic things that call themselves “diets”. Weight Watchers, that legendary Atkins diet, etc. I think they’re all nuts. There are only a few things that I need to maintain food health, and they are as follows:

• It’s all about the ingredients. I think twice before buying something with more than 5 ingredients in it. 
• Anything homemade is better than its store-bought version, simply because I know exactly what’s in it. 
• Buy fresh first, canned/prepackaged as a last resort.
• Grass-fed meat if I can afford it. (Anything not specified is corn-fed. I won’t spit statistics, but I highly recommend looking up comparisons.)
• The one thing I agree with the diet books on is that water is the best beverage. 
• Eggs can make a meal. Hard-boiled, scrambled, in a sandwich, fried, etc. Quick and easy. (Don’t be fooled by “vegetarian-fed”. A chicken’s natural diet is omnivorous.)
• Yogurt with live/active cultures like acidopholus are good for the tummy.

So, in order to meet my Phase Two, I’ve got to be a smart food shopper and a good cook. It’s going well, but difficult to make a healthy choice when I feel lazy. 

Phase Three: A Little Demure, A Little Wily

Women, stereotypically speaking, always have a little something up their sleeve, be it a dirty little secret or a handkerchief. Many women who embody the feminine ideals also have this insane ability to make their manner of speaking graceful. It is similar to a man’s “business speak”, but completely different from the common “passive aggressiveness”. 

While this graceful speaking may be slightly out of reach for me, I know that I can become a little more feminine by knowing when to keep my mouth shut. In past relationships, I have had a problem with blurting out my insecurities about how the relationship is going. While discussing real issues may be necessary in a relationship, my outbursts certainly weren’t. Ergo Phase Three.

~~~

That’s all I can come up with for now. I’m sure that I will find other “phases” to implement when the time comes, but these three are the core of my plan. Let’s hope I can stick to them.